Friday, February 17, 2023.
It's been 15 days since the Feb 2 Kickoff, and I have been feeling like I've lost track of the big picture again. While I know I have a good conceptual model for the year, it's hard to "hold in my head" so I am acting on it every day. I think this is because it's easy to get lost in the details of a particular goal.
In the past, I would rewrite the GHDR Goals every time to refresh my memory, but I'd really like to have them IN MY HEAD so I can recall them effortlessly. I think the problem is that while I have a good conceptual system with Strategic Horizons and The Colony, I have missed a subtle distinction with how my ADHD and ASD interact: I believe I have two kinds of hyperfocus and they are NOT compatible with each other!
I described two theoretical types of hyperfocus, one for ASD and the other for ADHD. My ASD hyperfocus is the obsessive conceptual system building part of me, and I think it is the dominant one. My ADHD hyperfocus, by comparison, is triggered by ideal conditions of being emotionally-invested and curious about what I'm doing when all necessary resources are immediately available as in a well-designed video game. My ADHD mitigations are all based on game design theory to create that forward momentum, actually, because I know this kind of interaction is extremely effective when competently designed.
The big disconnect between the "big picture" represented by the ASD-created GHDR system is the lack of an ADHD-friendly execution model. While I can reconstruct the GHDR system from basic principles, the act of recalling that information is rather expensive from the mental perspective. Anything that feels effortful in that way puts a strain on my limited executive function resources!!! What I need to do is BUILD A BRIDGE between the "Big Picture ASD Conceptual Model" and "What I Can Do that Is Guaranteed to Meet Big Picture Needs".
So...what does that look like? In the past I would make a poster and put it on my wall next to the computer workstations, but I don't think this is adequate in itself. I have to tie specific ADHD mitigations to it as part of my daily morning ritual as a recipe to follow.
First: A Short and Sweet Version of The Big Picture
I condensed the key ideas into these three strategic horizons. If anything I'm doing can be related to one of these three major areas, then I can be assured that I'm aligned with the year's GHDR mission.
- THE COLONY: GATHERING PLACE TO EXPLORE-LEARN-BUILD-SHARE
- SRI SOFTWARE EVO: VISUAL DESIGN through CUSTOM CODE
- SRI WRITING ASCENDANCY: WRITERLY APPROACH TO LIFE
I also condensed the four main directives for the year. They were picked to remind me HOW I should go about achieving my goals in the most Sri-empowering manner. These also indirectly acknowledge that ADHD and ASD traits are something I have to account for in how I "frame" my work.
- THE PURSUIT OF PERSONAL TRUTH IS ALWAYS A PRIORITY
- NEVER WORK ALONE, EVER
- USE ADHD+ASD DIPLOMACY FOR MUTUAL BENEFIT ACROSS CULTURES
- EXPLORE-LEARN-BUILD-SHARE GENEROUSLY ACROSS THE NETWORK
Secondly: A Process for Acting in Accordance to The Big Picture
Continuity tracking is how I hold my brain together long enough to create something of lasting permanance/utility. It's a battle to retain focus on finishing isolated tasks for me. I need ensure that I am also connecting the task to the big picture and somehow measure what got done in a way that does not make me feel bad.
I don't have any ready answers right now, so I'll get back to this later. I'll prime the pump with a posting to mastodon to help keep the conversation feeling "live", which is a good dopamine boost for me.
INDEX of GHDR 2023 POSTS
Kickoff - Defining the goals for 2023.
Solidifying the Big Picture - I know I'm prone to forgetting my own big plans. Compacting and simplifying them helps me remember?
Mitigating Executive Distraction - I note that two executive function challenges I face is (1) remembering the context and specifics of the GHDR goals set a month ago and (2) managing the energy needed to push through challenges. I hypothesis that executive function is like "battery" and well-regulated emotions are the true power source.
High-Octane Interactions - Despite positive developments on my contract work, I find myself in "The Cycle of Doom": depression, dysregulation, and disconnection. I consider possible causes in the context of my Autism and ADHD needs and come up with a mitigation plan to address the doom spiral.
End of Year Review - WIP