Monday, February 12, 2024.
Something's been bothering me about the current trajectory I'm on. Given that today is the tenth day out of twelve, I don't have much time to come to a resolution for this year's GHDR. I'm obviously going to have to simplify the extent of my planning work to be ready by February 14.
So, I went to Starbucks today and ordered an Americano, then stared a bit at the quotes I had isolated from yesterday's post. In particularly, these two quotes from the Colony Appeal section stood out:
[this is] A place for people with intense interests and the intense desire to have their work seen, used, applied.
...and...
[this is] A place with pride in fostering creative independence, supportive culture, eclectic learning and skills, and appreciation for the enormous variety of creativity that exists.
As I looked at the rest of the entries in the Colony Appeal section, it all started to feel very disconnected from any emotion. I wanted something more VISCERAL feeling. I think that it boils down to this essential question:
Why the hell do I want to do this???
And if I can answer that, I would also want to frame this followup question with equal ferocity:
Why the hell would anyone care???
So I started scribbling on a piece of paper, and transcribed these as a set of statements. These are all thing that I would like that I suspect others might like also. While these questions are a bit rough, they're not a bad starting point, as starting anywhere is good when you don't know what you're doing yet!
You can download the PDF here if you feel like taking the assessment for fun:
Initial List of Questions
In no particular order:
- I have the desire to create something unique to me to share with the world, but I am feeling isolated because others don't see why I should spend so much effort on something that no one understands or is asking for.
- I wish I knew more people with similar desires that are also positive-minded, self-empowered, conscientious, curious, generous and kind in the way I aspire to be as well.
- I would like to hear stories from other people on their creative adventurer path like me.
- I want to be around people who are excited about talking with me about what I'm doing, asking questions and listening intently rather than talking "at me" with unsolicited or untested advice.
- I want to pool resources with others to create a bigger pie for all to share, rather than compete to split an existing pie into smaller and smaller pieces.
- I want to feel proud of my association with a group of creative adventurers who are all pursuing their goals individually, buoyed by camaraderie and stories of perseverance to success.
- I don't want to hide my intensity and eclectic interests to avoid being judged as "too weird" or "different" to my detriment.
- I want to know that there are standards and rules that are clearly designed to create an egalitarian culture of supportive understanding and pursuit of personal excellence.
- I want to be sure that the organization is teaming up with me with mutually beneficial terms, not the other way around in an attempt to control or own my work.
- I want to be among people who know how hard it is to go it alone, to deal with constant uncertainty in the face of other people's so-called "common sense", and have persevered.
- I want to be among people who communicate without guile, happy to exchange information and stories rather than just signal empty agreeability.
- I want to be among people who commit. They followup with their promises and take responsibility for their actions. They kindly hold me to mine with mutual respect for one's word.
- I want to contribute to the upkeep of a pool of resources in a community setting, where I can see my actions have an effect and are counted with transparency.
- I want my sense of progress to be shared, seen, and celebrated my cohort of peers on similar journeys of adventurous creativity.
- I want to be around people who discuss their understanding of emotion, reason, values, and ethics in their life pursuits, and look for ways to put it into action.
- I want to negotiate my differences with others to balance personal interests with that of the overall community mission.
Tomorrow, I'll think about how to get the word out and gather feedback. Perhaps a Google Form?
INDEX of GHDR 2024 POSTS
This year's single goal is Building The Colony!
Made a simple "functional area" diagram using Whimsical to help gather my thoughts.
I converted the Whimsical doc from yesterday to Affinity Designer.
Created new subsite at /the-colony/
Wrote stream-of-consciousness "vision statement" for later cleanup
Convert stream-of-consciousness into a "phrase cloud" for further deconstruction
Artifacts of The Colony: Pebbles, Seeds, and Rings
Created a "refined phrase cloud" grouped into five categories, based on boot 05's work.
Extracted "foundational" statements from yesterday, but they didn't leave a strong impression. Punt "why" to tomorrow's post.
Created a "Selfishly Sri" printable assessment to gauge outside interest.
Reducing scope from Colony to Outpost.
Desired results are distilled down to two main ideas, which will cover the next couple of months.
A slow start to the year, as I focused on paying work for most of the month. Set four directives to achieve this mont
The set of analysis notes that I authored with ChatGPT4 to refine my understanding of "prosocial motivation"
New goal is to start connecting with future chatty collaborators, as my brain runs on "prosocial motivation" and meaningful human connections.
Delving further into my "predominantly-prosocially motivated" profile (PPMP), and how to turn this into action given the dilemma of "needing the energy from a group to start a task" being at odds with "needing to start a group so I have energy".
The task of "talking to someone in-person about PPMP-based community" didn't happen. Happily, I had several empowering insights along the lines of wealth, doing what is good, and accepting myself that I think will help with that.
A new approach to "reduce uncertainty" instead of "pushing through" tasks, I take the time to define the mission and audiences more carefully.
Change of emphasis to All The Animals Are Friends as the anchoring concept for communicating my ideas!
Recognizing the seemingly-impossible task of doing tasks that no one else is looking at with me, I recast writing as the primary goal. Without the camaraderie of connection, I just am unable to motivate.
August sucked. I had no energy or drive. Perhaps I need to prioritize my own communications and work needs for once.
September was really low-energy and sluggish again. Rather than worry about sustainable systematic productivity, I should just admit that I'm lonely and let productivity handle itself?
The depression of September faded as I visited family in California. I theorize 6 "rules for surviving loneliness".
An unexpectedly productive month as I applied several of the "rules for surviving loneliness". My outlook for 2025 for personal productivity feels positive.