Sudden Career Opportunity Panic!

Mrah! I totally forgot to write my story update yesterday, but that was because I was busy with a surprise job opportunity that I found very appealing but also quite different from what I’ve done before. It took me a few days to decide that “what the hell, it won’t hurt to apply!” Even if I didn’t get an interview, the effort of merely preparing the application would help me focus on what I really want to do, and what I an offer others! Because, you know, getting money is also nice. This cat enjoys nice things!

I’ve never done an online job application before, having gotten previous jobs through word-of-mouth and old connections, and then I stayed in the same freelance-shaped career for over 20 years. With that experience, I’ve learned a couple of important things about my work desires:

1. I like solving individual human problems in the room with the very people facing them. I don’t actually like technology and visual crafts themselves for themselves, but they are instead part of my professional toolkit. How about that!
2. I like the idea of being in a cozy supportive environment where people share their experiences with each other, helping each other overcome obstacles and thrive! I’m not interested in competitive situations at all.

I haven’t always felt like this, being caught-up in the idea that I had to be very competent, very knowledgeable, and constantly demonstrate expertise to have a place in the world. But as I’ve decided to accept myself as but one small cat in a very large universe, I’ve come to realize it’s that those precious one-on-one moments are what really seem to matter. I want those to happen every day, and to be part of the magic that causes these good interactions to happen.

That’s very different than being a “learning sciences research support Javascript developer of realtime distributed web-based applications”, or whatever I was doing before. It’s also different from being a “freelance investigative designer” or “designer/developer”.

So, this new job opening does seem to flip things toward my real work desires, and the stuff that I had tried hard to be good at is now framed as supporting skills. That’s exciting, and scary!

Additionally, I’m facing my unpreparedness with regards to an up-to-date resume, an up-to-date digital portfolio, having references and stuff like that. I am also contending with what having a regular 40-hour/week job would be like, and whether I would be able to continue to do the things I’m doing now. Or possibly, they might motivate me to do them, as there’s some alignment with what I want to do—bring back human connections online and make empowering creative fellowships—with that of the organization I’m looking at.

Anyway…it is A LOT to think about. I’ve been running around trying to find references and work history, poring over old LinkedIn profiles and ancient project examples that have good pictures. And how do I frame myself as a helpful person for an organization that I think is cool? Am I even a fit? What if I get the job and hate it? Yikes!!!

But but but…let me take a deep breath and just keep pushing to let this play out. I’m still working on my Deno WebApp Prototype, and am close to getting a minimum viable prototype (MVP)! The last thing I have to do for MVP is actually combine all the generated elements into one directory that serves as the webapp’s actual file serving location.

So that’s what is going on! I’m excited but also stressed-out! Yargh!